If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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