He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize