Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize