First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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