Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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