Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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