I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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