I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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