so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize