Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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