did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize