Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize