It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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