There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize