Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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