yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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