She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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