and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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