I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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