Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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