So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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