My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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