i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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