airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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