Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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