dude i'm inner monologue high
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize