I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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