Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize