I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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