sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize