So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize