Can Purell be used as lube?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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