apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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