I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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