Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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