The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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