just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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