Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize