I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize