I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize