I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize