Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize