my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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