youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they need to just BURY HIM!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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