saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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