So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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