I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize