It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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