you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize