Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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